An Orange Cloud

[didnt want to be flagged with using the word 'die' in the title therefore the weird title] TW: emotional  19th may 2025 Immediately after completing when life gives you tangerines image courtesy: pinterest if you die   If you ever die, I’d be very angry at you.  I’d be waiting for your text, not knowing you died. I’d be missing you just as I did yesterday, not knowing you died.  I’d be frustrated at the thought that you forgot to text me, not knowing you died.   I wouldn’t know if you died, I wouldn’t believe it.    I’d only want you to tell me I’d want only you to text me that Give me a call Speak for the last time   I’d say hello, you’d say hello We'd both stay in the call Not thinking of what to say I’ll be looking up to the stars I may be alone, but your breath reminds me otherwise   I’d say hello, you’d say hello We would have nothing to talk about We both know that   I’d say hell...

 Distance makes the love grow fonder You can never reach my expectations   The idea of you is more appealing Than your actual human personality   The neurons in my brain Could construct a better man Than the person you could ever be Like a standard too high to reach   With miles separating us, I feel more comfort in your ‘touch’   Predicting your thoughts while you type Is a fun game to play until you get it wrong   You’re in a test that you never applied to. When you’re talking, you are being interviewed.   If we ever accidentally met in real life, ill go away where the sun never shines.   distance makes the love grow fonder I don’t know if I’m loving a human person. This idea of you that I’m madly in love with, Lives in my brain, rent free.   Your existence is a disappointment, You can’t spell the word without ‘men’.   You were always just a slate board For me to bounce my...

  Ive just completed watching “The Boys”. I feel so much that in the end, I feel nothing at all. As if, Like aceton, my feelings evaporate On their way from heart to brain I wish to bawl like a fool I get nothing, stay a disappointed fool.   The show, I never thought id watch it, until one day, I decided – fuck it- and started pirating it on a whim, I watched it everywhere like a bull Chasing a red cloth in the ring, During work and at the saloon, It only seemed natural to do it.   When the show first reached my radar, it didn’t seem like my type- still doesn’t, the gore is unbearably disgusting, the good kind (?)- but I watched it, Its been two stanzas and im still Yapping about liking a series That seems way out of reach For someone who watches mockumentaries.   Anyways, the dystopia, the apocalypse, god fearing citizens, the all powerful white man, all of it seemed well known, very familiar, But the layers and depth To eve...

  14-7-24 What would they think of us? Hell I wanna know too, idk what we are we are but as significant and insignificant as the star dust above and before us   22-7-26 I don’t know what we are The excitement in the air Is more enticing than the oxygen   The weight of social norms, The need to stay informed Teaches me everything but, The question still remains:   What are we?   Are we friends who know too much Or are we lovers in the next chapter Are we in the talking stage leading to something Or are boring ourselves to death?   What are we?   Were we connected in our past lives Or are we so opposed to what consciousness is Are we debating about movies Or about basic human rights?   What are we?   An example of icks in the other gender Or are we the models of standards Or are we too young and lost To be here all alone?   What are we?   Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

  on a trip to faraway land Freezing in the cold summer rain Embracing your warm pounding heart Naked in our feelings and pain Longing in our young hearts   The different shades of blue Way up above in the sky The orange sun-kiss glow on you As you stare in my eyes   I see a reflection of me In your sunset orbs Now you have so adoringly Lightened up my antarctic winters   You’re the summer of love You’re the chocolate cone You’re the cold breeze by the window You’re my home sweet home   A tight embrace Withstand the rain A strong hold In the windy way home   A montage of love In whispers and laughs about the world In debates on how it’d end In trials of becoming friends   Our laughs fill the room No space for dispirited gloom In the summer rain, we bloom Together till the tomb   Eyes squinted, cheeks pained We smile till we succumb to dopamine Time passes by in no vain Bec...

the warmth of sun and the cools of the moon   26-9-24   I’ve always hated the sun It was so bright And it’s the only one In the blue sky   I’ve always liked the moon Cuz it was cool And accompanied by The stars in the sky   I hated the sun I cant even look at it without burning my eyes I cant even walk outside without worrying about my skin I cant even reach it if I tried and be alive   I loved the moon I can see tiny craters on it with my naked eye I can love al the shapes day by day I can lean on it for moonlight   22-7-26   But the question remains, Till this day What do the sun and the moon Think of me, their human on the land   Does the sun summon the clouds when it shines too bright Or does the moon diets to see which phase its loved the most   What do the divorced sun and moon Think of the small human In the tiny land of home   Child of divorce, I call myself ...

  Reluctant (to) misery   Why shy away from something so natural? Why hate life and its byproducts?   Why always look for the bright side but hide away when the sun shines?   Why wish for light when it’s the dark that makes the contrast?   Why hate the heat when you wished for the light?   Why prejudice against the rain, when it blooms the flowers?   Why hide under the umbrella when rainbows are just above you?     Why hate the blue when it brings you the morning?   Why stay indifferent when there’s love to give?     The sunshine and rainbows, aren’t made in a day The storms and the thunders, don’t last all day   Embrace the cold breeze, For one summer day you’ll wish for it   Enjoy the dark night, For you get to see the stars paint   Love the moonshine It’s showering you with stolen light   Cling to the trees and shade For soon th...